You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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