She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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