He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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