office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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