she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
