i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
