I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
