why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
