Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
