Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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