i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
