who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
