I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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