fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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