Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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