I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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