Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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