sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
