Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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