I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
