i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
