I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my shit smells like andre
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
