last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
