dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think I have vodka in my lungs
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
