He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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