You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
