She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
