I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
