no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
