it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
