btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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