Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
