She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
