Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
