Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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