Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
