i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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