I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
