I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Dicks are not precious.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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