is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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