hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I still have a little drunk in my system
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
