She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
