You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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