So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You smell like a Billy Joel song
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
