Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
