she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
