we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
