she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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