Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just google imaged poop.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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