i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
