but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
